"I thought what I'd do was, I'd pretend I was one of those deaf-mutes."

astriaos @ 2008-07-22T16:34:00

2008-07-22T21:33:01Z

Got passed up for trade school. This is not a bad thing. Have better work on the horizon, might be getting into politics!

astriaos @ 2008-07-20T17:57:00

2008-07-20T23:14:36Z

You know, it gets really old when people assume you're a homosexual. I mean, really, I know that I kinda put off the air because I dress
up rather nicely for no other reason than I want to, I'm clean shaven, smell good, neat and don't hit on every free bit of leg in sight. Sure maybe I can't dance worth a crap but I can hold a lengthy conversation over a multitude of subjects ranging from classical music to science fiction, to the aesthetic qualities of so called "modern art" with some pimply faced steam-punk wannabe who honestly wouldn't know what nouveau was if it walked up and smacked her in the face. Get some fucking culture you rednecks!

I guess being something of a gentleman these days automatically makes you a chicken choker here in the good old south. Christ I need to move to the west coast or at least get a job in a higher class environment where I won't get shit for thinking that monogamy should be a popular pastime instead of frequenting dive bars to pick up women with low self esteem.

Then again I've always felt that men in leather who like playing in the dirt may be on to something.

astriaos @ 2008-07-15T20:11:00

2008-07-16T01:11:27Z

Sometimes I worry that I am seen as a far to serious individual who is incapable of having 'fun'

I would like to think that I'm fun but now that I think about it, I've never actually been told that I am a fun individual. Only that I'm a good man because I do the dishes and take out the trash in houses that don't belong to me. I am beginning to worry that I was born into the role of a housewife.

astriaos @ 2008-07-12T11:28:00

2008-07-12T16:29:02Z

Happy Birthday me. Time to go get hammered on really expensive beer.

I want to take this opportunity to remind everyone that "The Great Redneck Hope!" has some really aw

2008-07-12T04:00:06Z

awesome song titles. Here they are, in all their glory!

From, "Behold the Fuck Thunder" their last album with a total track time of roughly 9 minutes and 18 seconds...

Track Listing:
1. Whoa, Frankenstein! I didn’t program you to make out with boys!
2. Let’s fall in love over AIM so we can fuck when we meet at Cornerstone.
3. It sure does get lonely out here in the boondocks. Thank god for cock.
4. Call me old-fashioned, but I think trains are kick-ass.
5. Girl, are you pregnant? It’s not my fault! You seduced me!
6. Did you ever notice that “stat” is “tats” backward? Dude, that’s so tribal.
7. Cheeseburger Karma 2004: A Jam Odyssey.
8. Pssst! Hey, the lord is awesome. Pass it on.
9. My other car is a centaur.
10. Killing the wheelchair-bound as they exit church with missiles fired from helicopters is my milieu.
11. Are you there, God? Please help me stop masturbating.

Another very focused album from way back in 2003, "Splosion!" this 13 minute brutality is simply that: brutal.

Track Listing:
1. Hey, Goth Girl, Isn’t It a Little Hot to be Wearing Pants?
2. A Rhetorical Question: What Do Christian Kids Talk About? (Ex: “God is Awesome!” “Totally!”)
3. I Don’t Lift Weights to Impress the Bitches. I Lift Weights to Knock a Sucka’s Teeth Out.
4. Three East Steps to Digging Up and Reanimating Your Ass, Only to Rock It Into the Ground Once Again.
5. You’re Fired, You’re Fired, You’re Fired. Goddman It, I’m Spike Lee.
6. Hey, Girl, Are You Down With Bacteria? And If So, Would You Like to See the Inside of Our Van?
7. Oh, My God. Omigod. Ohhhhh my god. I Thought Nail Guns Had a Safety.
8. I’m Pretty Sure I Got My Cat Pregnant.
9. They Say the People Elect the Government They Deserve, But I Don’t Remember Knife-Raping Any Retarded Nuns.

Myspace

Only attempt viewing of this source material under the influence of uppers, downers, benders, ticklers, screamers, biters, laughers, writers and/or manatees.

astriaos @ 2008-07-11T18:38:00

2008-07-11T23:38:50Z

My housemate seemingly had an appointment with a guy for a swimming pool. He drove all the way from dallas (174 miles exactly) to spend 3 minutes looking at the backyard because Roger missed the appointment. I tried to give him gas money but he wouldn't take it. I could see the defeat and anger in his eyes and wish that I could actually have done something to help the guy.

I feel bad now.

astriaos @ 2008-07-07T16:46:00

2008-07-07T21:44:58Z

I just went outside and stood in a rather large thunderstorm for a while. It was rather nice.

I just got a bill from CTMC for the injury I suffered while working at the Inn, a bill which was supposed to be covered by them. I shall make copies, pay the bill then demand some variety of compensation as that is what I was told would happen.

astriaos @ 2008-07-06T12:46:00

2008-07-06T17:44:39Z

On today, the last day of my vacation I will be reading a book and doing pricing to build a new computer as Mom's has decided to have epileptic fits every 15 minutes or so.

astriaos @ 2008-07-04T14:52:00

2008-07-04T19:52:47Z

I don't particularly enjoy holidays. Most of the time they only serve as a reminder of the hateful holidays of my youth. Later after the first hotdogs are broiled and the first beers consumed I often am drawn back to the fact that my 'family' consists of a geriatric drunkard, a jaded human resource lady, a traveler, one bipolar, one semi-normal person, and a drama queen. Ironically enough, this is what a lot of families look like so I guess mine isn't that special after all.

So I guess instead of going uot and blowing stuff up, getting drunk and cooking hot dogs like every other full blooded american; I'll sit around getting drunk and playing Oblivion until Travis calls or maybe Adrian. I hope everyone doesn't forget me...

Day X

2008-07-04T04:19:00Z

Today I woke up late. Had odd dreams about peanut butter coming in 50 pound sacks like flour and cutting it up to feed to machines that make computer chips. I did my satire reading today. It was moderately amusing. The crowd came by and watched me read, it was nice. I've been told repeatedly that I need to go to Poetry night. It seems that "Open Mic Night" is actually only "Open Mic Night" if you're playing music. A piano player gave me a demo Cd which I will listen to and maybe upload to SA if I am feeling charitable.

I got a smile from a bio-chem major. It made me feel appreciated. Maybe it is my Paul Newman haircut.

Happy July 4th everyone. Have joy that you live int he greatest nation on this little dirtball. Now go watch some Hulk Hogan and drink beer till you bust.

Yesterday

2008-07-02T20:35:20Z

Yesterday I paid roughly $4 for a professional massage. It was quite nice. She commented on exactly how screwed up my shoulders are and told me in no uncertain terms that I need to stop carrying the weight of the world around. Spent some time chilling with Kels and Mr. B. I read the satire, "Barefoot Boy With Cheek" aloud for few hours because it was entertaining. I might have to go buy a microphone so I can record this book.

Today I go do computer classes for old folks and return some books. Huzzah.

Edit: Tomorrow I shall be performing the first two chapters of "Barefoot Boy with Cheek," a satire about college life written in 1943, at the Tantra Coffee Shop in San Marcos. If you're in the locality (which I know most of you are not) please feel free to stop by around 8ish and enjoy.

Days 2 & 3

2008-06-30T20:58:39Z

Day 2: I played a lot of Half Life 2 today. Almost halfway finished. Read a good book, ate some eel sushi. It was good.

Day 3: Today I had my interview for the plumber guys. Took about 5 minutes, hopefully they let me in. They said the letters of recommendation submitted by the Porter guys and Burns look very good on my record. A good handshake will take you far in this world. Time to go possibly get beer and visit Travis. I like having some time off. I slept in late today, it was very nice. I had odd dreams about highschool and people I have not seen in a long time. Some part of me wants to go see them and find out how the world has been treating their adventures through life. I wonder how Fraiser is enjoying school in Florida. Hopefully it is everything she had hoped for. She should have gone to UT, but hey I can understand wanting to get away from the overbearing thumb of your parental figures.

Hey people watch this

2008-06-06T00:36:04Z

WATCH THIS NOW. DO IT DO IT

astriaos @ 2008-06-05T17:08:00

2008-06-05T22:17:18Z

I got pulled over today for going 53 in a 55 zone. Oh the indignity. Luckily I got away with a warning for not changing my address when I moved. I have now done so. What a friendly officer for reminding me to do that. Thanks LEO! :=D

astriaos @ 2008-05-31T22:52:00

2008-06-01T03:52:15Z

Ask me about being socially retarded because I lived in the boonies for to long and didn't understand social dynamics until I read about them in books written for men more hopeless than I.

astriaos @ 2008-05-26T19:14:00

2008-05-27T00:13:17Z

Thanks to the internet and the coldheartedness of mankind, Mythbusters is canceled and Adam savage is now dead via two self inflicted gunshot wounds to the head.

astriaos @ 2008-05-23T16:53:00

2008-05-23T21:52:08Z

I was stumbling on the internet today and came across these rather amusing aphorisms.

1. IF YOU'RE CHOKING ON AN ICE CUBE, SIMPLY POUR A CUP OF BOILING WATER DOWN YOUR THROAT. PRESTO! THE BLOCKAGE WILL INSTANTLY REMOVE ITSELF.

2. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.

3. AVOID ARGUMENTS ABOUT THE TOILET SEAT - USE THE SINK.

4. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.

5. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.

6. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.

7. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.

8. REMEMBER - EVERYONE SEEMS NORMAL UNTIL YOU GET TO KNOW THEM.

9. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.

DAILY THOUGHT: SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING, BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.

astriaos @ 2008-05-22T16:34:00

2008-05-22T21:38:32Z

Got transfered to Samsung. Whee here I come 40 mile one way trip through the worst of Austin traffic. I get to start tomorrow, so YAY tackling the worst that Austin drivers have to offer on a friday! I am so excited that I spent the past two hours on the google maps making alternate routes.

Jesus this is going to slaughter my gas budget. Now I will be commuting twice the distance that I was before! Huzzah $400 a month gas bill. I am hoping I get laid off relatively fast so I can get a job in far south Austin again at maybe that solar power plant or the new Saint Edwards wing. Sure it will be hot, but it would be worth the cost savings and, dare I say, having two and a half hours of my life back that would otherwise be lost to shitty austin drivers.

astriaos @ 2008-05-20T16:25:00

2008-05-20T21:24:20Z

I will be without a job on friday. Maybe now I can go work on my tan.

astriaos @ 2008-05-17T21:17:00

2008-05-18T02:16:54Z

I adore a woman who I am completely incompatible with. What the hell human nature, what the hell.

astriaos @ 2008-05-15T19:08:00

2008-05-16T00:08:23Z

"Iron and the Soul"

I believe that the definition of definition is reinvention. To not be like you parents. To not be like your friends. To be yourself. Completely.

When I was young I had no sense of myself. All I was, was a product of all the fear and humiliation I suffered. Fear of my parents. The humiliation of teachers calling me "garbage can" and telling me I'd be mowing lawns for a living. And the very real terror of my fellow students. I was threatened and beaten up for the color of my skin and my size. I was skinny and clumsy, and when others would tease me I didn't run home crying, wondering why. I knew all too well. I was there to be antagonized. In sports I was laughed at. A spaz. I was pretty good at boxing but only because the rage that filled my every waking moment made me wild and unpredictable. I fought with some strange fury. The other boys thought I was crazy.

I hated myself all the time. As stupid at it seems now, I wanted to talk like them, dress like them, carry myself with the ease of knowing that I wasn't going to get pounded in the hallway between classes.

Years passed and I learned to keep it all inside. I only talked to a few boys in my grade. Other losers. Some of them are to this day the greatest people I have ever known. Hang out with a guy who has had his head flushed down a toilet a few times, treat him with respect, and you'll find a faithful friend forever. But even with friends, school sucked. Teachers gave me hard time. I didn't think much of them either.

Then came Mr. Pepperman, my adviser. He was a powerfully built Vietnam veteran, and he was scary. No one ever talked out of turn in his class. Once one kid did and Mr. P. lifted him off the ground and pinned him to the blackboard.

Mr. P. could see that I was in bad shape, and one Friday in October he asked me if I had ever worked out with weights. I told him no. He told me that I was going to take some of the money that I had saved and buy a hundred-pound set of weights at Sears. As I left his office, I started to think of things I would say to him on Monday when he asked about the weights that I was not going to buy. Still, it made me feel special. My father never really got that close to caring. On Saturday I bought the weights, but I couldn't even drag them to my mom's car. An attendant laughed at me as he put them on a dolly.

Monday came and I was called into Mr. P.'s office after school. He said that he was going to show me how to work out. He was going to put me on a program and start hitting me in the solar plexus in the hallway when I wasn't looking. When I could take the punch we would know that we were getting somewhere. At no time was I to look at myself in the mirror or tell anyone at school what I was doing.

In the gym he showed me ten basic exercises. I paid more attention than I ever did in any of my classes. I didn't want to blow it. I went home that night and started right in. Weeks passed, and every once in a while Mr. P. would give me a shot and drop me in the hallway, sending my books flying. The other students didn't know what to think. More weeks passed, and I was steadily adding new weights to the bar. I could sense the power inside my body growing. I could feel it.

Right before Christmas break I was walking to class, and from out of nowhere Mr. Pepperman appeared and gave me a shot in the chest. I laughed and kept going. He said I could look at myself now. I got home and ran to the bathroom and pulled off my shirt. I saw a body, not just the shell that housed my stomach and my heart. My biceps bulged. My chest had definition. I felt strong. It was the first time I can remember having a sense of myself. I had done something and no one could ever take it away. You couldn't say **** to me.

It took me years to fully appreciate the value of the lessons I have learned from the Iron. I used to think that it was my adversary, that I was trying to lift that which does not want to be lifted. I was wrong. When the Iron doesn't want to come off the mat, it's the kindest thing it can do for you. If it flew up and went through the ceiling, it wouldn't teach you anything. That's the way the Iron talks to you. It tells you that the material you work with is that which you will come to resemble. That which you work against will always work against you.

It wasn't until my late twenties that I learned that by working out I had given myself a great gift. I learned that nothing good comes without work and a ceratin amount of pain. When I finish a set that leaves me shaking, I know more about myself. When something gets bad, I know it can't be as bad as that workout.

I used to fight the pain, but recently this became clear to me: pain is not my enemy; it is my call to greatness. But when dealing with the Iron, one must be careful to interpret the pain correctly. Most injuries involving the Iron come from ego. I once spent a few weeks lifting weight that my body wasn't ready for and spent a few months not picking up anything heavier than a fork. Try to lift what you're not prepared to and the Iron will teach you a little lesson in restraint and self-control.

I have never met a truly strong person who didn't have self-respect. I think a lot of inwardly and outwardly directed contempt passes itself off as self-respect: the idea of raising yourself by stepping on someone's shoulders instead of doing it yourself. When I see guys working out for cosmetic reasons, I see vanity exposing them in the worst way, as cartoon characters, billboards for imbalance and insecurity. Strength reveals itself through character. It is the difference between bouncers who get off strong-arming people and Mr. Pepperman.

Muscle mass does not always equal strength. Strength is kindness and sensitivity. Strength is understanding that your power is both physical and emotional. That it comes from the body and the mind. And the heart.

Yukio Mishima said that he could not entertain the idea of romance if he was not strong. Romance is such a strong and overwhelming passion, a weakened body cannot sustain it for long. I have some of my most romantic thoughts when I am with the Iron. Once I was in love with a woman. I thought about her the most when the pain from a workout was racing through my body. Everything in me wanted her. So much so that sex was only a fraction of my total desire. It was the single most intense love I have ever felt, but she lived far away and I didn't see her very often. Working out was a healthy way of dealing with the loneliness. To this day, when I work out I usually listen to ballads.

I prefer to work out alone. It enables me to concentrate on the lessons that the Iron has for me. Learning about what you're made of is always time well spent, and I have found no better teacher. The Iron had taught me how to live.

Life is capable of driving you out of your mind. The way it all comes down these days, it's some kind of miracle if you're not insane. People have become separated from their bodies. They are no longer whole. I see them move from their offices to their cars and on to their suburban homes. They stress out constantly, they lose sleep, they eat badly. And they behave badly. Their egos run wild; they become motivated by that which will eventually give them a massive stroke. They need the Iron mind.

Through the years, I have combined meditation, action, and the Iron into a single strength. I believe that when the body is strong, the mind thinks strong thoughts. Time spent away from the Iron makes my mind degenerate. I wallow in a thick depression. My body shuts down my mind. The Iron is the best antidepressant I have ever found. There is no better way to fight weakness than with strength. Once the mind and body have been awakened to their true potential, it's impossible to turn back.

The Iron never lies to you. You can walk outside and listen to all kinds of talk, get told that you're a god or a total bastard. The Iron will always kick you the real deal. The Iron is the great reference point, the all-knowing perspective giver. Always there like a beacon in the pitch black. I have found the Iron to be my greatest friend. It never freaks out on me, never runs. Friends may come and go. But two hundred pounds is always two hundred pounds.

~Internet Speech

astriaos @ 2008-05-14T20:54:00

2008-05-15T01:53:07Z

I am proud. I met new people today. Blew part of the ECONOMIC STIMULUS PACKAGE on a pair of bitchin Audio Technica A700 headphones. Here is to hoping that they are super awesomeness.

astriaos @ 2008-05-05T16:42:00

2008-05-05T21:41:39Z

I am growing my hair back out. This time I will keep it conditioned and properly maintained so it doesnt turn into a wild mass of white man fro. Instead I will have a tightly packed bundle of amazing ringlets.

I also want to note that I take way to much joy in french pop star "Yelle"

astriaos @ 2008-04-28T16:21:00

2008-04-28T21:24:09Z

In my quest for meaning and gratification in my otherwise hollow existence I have volunteered at the San marcos public library to teach old folks and moronic students how to use word processors, look up pornography on The Google and register email accounts. Ah the joys of helping out the cranially challenged.

Everyone I know goes away in the end.

2008-04-27T02:04:05Z

I am not much for Jonny Cash but after hearing When The Man Comes Around I was heartily touched. Soon I will have a copy and I will blast it when I am feeling the need for a spiritual boost.

And I heard, as it were, the noise of thunder: One of the four beasts saying: "Come and see." And I saw. And behold, a white horse.
There's a man goin' 'round takin' names. An' he decides who to free and who to blame. Everybody won't be treated all the same. There'll be a golden ladder reaching down. When the man comes around.

The hairs on your arm will stand up. At the terror in each sip and in each sup. For you partake of that last offered cup, Or disappear into the potter's ground. When the man comes around.

Hear the trumpets, hear the pipers. One hundred million angels singin'. Multitudes are marching to the big kettle drum. Voices callin', voices cryin'. Some are born an' some are dyin'. It's Alpha's and Omega's Kingdom come.

And the whirlwind is in the thorn tree. The virgins are all trimming their wicks. The whirlwind is in the thorn tree. It's hard for thee to kick against the pricks.

Till Armageddon, no Shalam, no Shalom. Then the father hen will call his chickens home. The wise men will bow down before the throne. And at his feet they'll cast their golden crown. When the man comes around.

Whoever is unjust, let him be unjust still. Whoever is righteous, let him be righteous still. Whoever is filthy, let him be filthy still. Listen to the words long written down, When the man comes around.

Hear the trumpets, hear the pipers. One hundred million angels singin'. Multitudes are marchin' to the big kettle drum. Voices callin', voices cryin'. Some are born an' some are dyin'. It's Alpha's and Omega's Kingdom come.

And the whirlwind is in the thorn tree. The virgins are all trimming their wicks. The whirlwind is in the thorn tree. It's hard for thee to kick against the pricks.

In measured hundredweight and penny pound. When the man comes around.

And I heard a voice in the midst of the four beasts, And I looked and behold: a pale horse. And his name, that sat on him, was Death. And Hell followed with him.